Chemo Schmemo

Almost two weeks ago I had my first round of chemo. And by the time I got to my appointment, pretty much all of my anxiety, anger and negative feelings had disappeared. By the time I got there, I was ready to just get it over with, do what I had to do, and was determined to make the best of it. I had 16 weeks of treatment ahead of me, and I will not waste that amount of time in a bad mood.

 

My chair was in an insanely sunny area of the ‘Chemo Suite’, and for those of you who know me you know that sunshine is my THING. I live for sun, the sun is my spirit animal, and on vacations I soak in ‘every last drop’ – meaning I literally stay in the sun until every last drop of the rays have turned into shade… it’s not crazy, it’s my thing. I took the fact that I had to wear sunglasses through my treatment as a very positive sign, it was the universe delivering exactly what I needed.

 

I didn’t feel much during the treatment, physically. It lasted just over an hour, and the nurse administered two different chemo drugs during that time. It honestly didn’t seem like a big deal. I did however have a couple of emotional moments, which is probably pretty normal. Although, I’m not very emotional personally, so it caught me off guard.

 

The first time was when the nurse was telling me how sometimes it’s hard for them to get some grown adults physically through the chemo suite doors – like some people won’t walk through – the nurses have to take them by the hand and physically get them into the chairs, and really work at getting them their treatment.

 

This hit me hard because the visual popped into my head and I suddenly realized ‘Holy crap, this is a super scary thing for people, and it’s happening to me’. The grossness of the whole thing seeped into my brain as I looked at my husband, who was there with me, and I practically whispered “I can’t believe this is happening right now”. He looked back at my sympathetically, I looked away, and forced my mind to get control, and get positive again.

 

But then there was a second time, when the nurse was injecting the first medication into my PICC line. It was bright red, we talked about it a little bit, and then she told me “this is the one that makes your hair fall out’. It hurt.  A lot. Like I know that it’s going to happen, the doctors made it very clear it was a guaranteed side effect… they didn’t want me to get my hopes up because ‘some people don’t lose their hair during chemo’. That wouldn’t be me, and now it’s in my body, and there is no turning back. My little emotional moment didn’t last too long, because again I looked at my husband and very clearly said “fucking ew”. He laughed, I laughed, the nurse laughed.. And we all lived happily ever after.

 

That was abrupt. Here’s the rest. If you’re still with me.

 

The side effects following the treatment weren’t too bad. I had a medication schedule after my treatment to battle the nausea and vomiting, I had a nurse visit my home for three days to hook my PICC to a saline hydration treatment, and an immune booster shot for 7 days to help keep me healthy. They definitely set you up for success, and do everything possible to make it bearable. For the first week following the treatment I was fatigued, I could feel my heart beating in my chest and my body just felt heavy. I was nauseas, had a pretty major headache, some body aches… felt generally not great. But all of which could be helped with Tylenol or extra anti-nausea pills. It wasn’t anything major.

 

By the time the second weekend rolled around I was feeling like my normal self again. I had a ton of energy, I was happy, positive and borderline hyperactive haha. Like, it felt so good to feel normal – I felt way above normal! I caught up with friends, drank wine, went to a large event with colleagues, worked out, went skating with kids and friends, organized my whole house (literally decluttered every closet and kid toy shelf that existed), meal prepped, met with clients and friends, got to work, and did a full Bootcamp class! It was a great week.

 

And I still have all my hair.

 

Tomorrow I go round 2, and I’ll consider myself lucky if things go the same way! Wish me luck.

 

Side note: For those of you who were thinking to yourself ‘the sun isn’t an animal’ – yes, I realize the sun is not an animal, you get what I mean, that’s just how much I love the sun.

The Cancer.

So, I have Breast Cancer. Turns out that is a thing that can actually happen to you, at the age of 33, seemingly out of nowhere. As I sit here and type my first blog post on the subject, it still feels incredibly strange that this is happening. It doesn’t feel real. And by that I mean exactly what it sounds like… it simply doesn’t feel like it’s happening to me.

I’ve had a bilateral mastectomy, with partial reconstruction – my body is forever changed – plus I have chemotherapy – what most would consider to be the scariest and worst medical treatment out there – currently running through my bloodstream – and it still doesn’t feel real. I’m in a place where every day I just do what I have to do what’s next, and then I wake up again the next day and do whatever is next again. I’ve been calling it business as usual, except I have a new usual.

The new usual consists of me making it my full time job to do everything I can to get me out of this situation, in the best shape possible. Visits to the hospital and clinics are now a part of my job, taking medication on a meticulous schedule is now a part of my job, arranging for childcare, taking care of administrative crap, dealing with insurance companies, home nursing and managing my symptoms are now all just a part of my full time job.

I’ve definitely had better gigs in my day, but never a more important one. So here I am, making the best of a difficult situation, taking it all one day at a time and focusing on maintaining a positive mindset through and through. That’s my plan, that’s my job, and this is my life.

Your workout: Exercise band & crunches

Need a quick way to get a workout in while you’re at home, travelling for work or on vacation? You can pick up an exercise band from most major retailers for around $10. It’s easy to change the resistance by simply making the band longer or shorter with a wide or narrow stance, or by gripping the band in different places. Practice controlled movements, slowing it down to make sure you feel each repetition of each exercise properly.

Sequence 1: Do 15 reps of each exercise, repeat sequence 3 times.

Body weight squats

Side step shuffle (step on the band, push out to the side)

Standing bent shoulder fly

Forward leaning triceps kick back extension

 

Sequence 2: Do 15 reps of each exercise, repeat sequence 3 times.

Alternating forward lunges

Forward straight arm shoulder fly

Sitting narrow row

Standing bicep curls

 

Sequence 3: Ab crunches 4 ways. Do 20 repetitions of each exercise.

Twist crunch to one side, twist crunch to the other side, regular forward crunch, reverse leg up crunch.

Change your focus, change your life!

When it comes to making long term lifestyle changes we always seem to focus on what we should stop doing – do less of, ‘fixing bad habits’ and ‘bad behaviour’ and deciding that you can’t be successful unless you change who you are. Not true, and it doesn’t have to be complicated either. Let’s change what the focus is – let’s have a happier, more enjoyable transition to a healthier lifestyle. Here is how you do it:

Focus on what you should be adding to your life, do not focus on what you’re taking away. For example, add a daily workout or three workouts a week. Not only do you get the benefits from the exercise, but you have less time to do less healthy things like watch tv, eat out, etc.

Focus on what nutrition you could add to your daily diet, do not focus on what you should stop eating. For example, if you make sure you eat a huge salad everyday, have a nutritious smoothie as an afternoon snack, and eat all the vegetables in your fridge before they go bad – you will realize you’ve run out of time to have less nutritious food, or that you don’t want it since you’re on a good eating ‘streak’.

Finally, this is the most important point. Focus on what you’re gaining from a healthier lifestyle, do not focus on what you’re giving up. You are going to be gaining confidence, strength, better health, less sickness, more energy, save money, have more fun, wear whatever you want, and be happier. Do not focus on not being able to hit the drive thru, eat your favorite foods, losing time on the couch with the tv… You get the picture.

Healthy living is a balanced cycle. Jump in, put your healthy habits in motion and you’ll feel the desire to keep it up after you begin seeing – but more importantly feeling – the results! The healthier you eat, and the more you exercise – the less you’ll want to eat unhealthy and skip your workouts. That’s all it takes, that’s how people become those ‘fit-people’. It’s just a few simple steps and the momentum can be unstoppable.

What do you want for yourself?

Just do it. Today. Don’t hesitate.

Hesitation holds us back from so much. We didn’t speak up in a meeting, we don’t ask our partners for what we want, we don’t decide on that gym membership, we’ll get to grocery shopping another day… It is seriously a major issue when it comes to making change – and that is because change is uncomfortable, and our brain and body hates being uncomfortable! So, we hesitate. I’ll worry about it later, next time, tomorrow… and another year passes and you’re right where you don’t want to be… still.

It’s time for you to realize that all you need to do is make the decision to make a change. DECIDE that what you have always wanted is important enough that you won’t hesitate anymore and you’ll begin to take action in order to make it happen.

Here, I’ll tell you exactly what to do RIGHT NOW. It’s not hard.

THROW away all the junk food in your house. Today.

Join the gym, Bootcamp, Yoga studio, get a personal trainer. Jump online right after you read this. Do your research, don’t stop until you figure out how you want to do it. Then do it. Seriously. Or go for a run, immediately. Follow it up with push ups and squats – exercise is technically free if you want it to be.

Go grocery shopping. Don’t go hungry, and bring a list for the meals you want to prepare in the next few days. Throw away nothing, you can’t eat out if you have food at home that will go to waste. Eat at home as much as you can.

Find motivation. A support group online (Facebook, blogs, communities…), your friends, colleagues, anyone. Or hop onto Pinterest, all those motivational quotes can really help sometimes. Choose your favorites and put them somewhere you’ll see them all the time.

Pick a goal. A vacation, an outfit, an event – a hard deadline, and objective will make it much easier to reach. Don’t pick something too far away, make it in the near future and important enough that you’ll really care.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Close your eyes and imagine it, really imagine it.

THERE IS NOTHING STOPPING YOU, but you. Don’t get in your way. Change is what makes life exciting. Just decide.

 

 

 

 

 

10 OF MY FAV HEALTHY FOOD SWAPS

We all love to eat food. And often our favorite meals aren’t exactly super good for you. So, in order to make eating healthy not suck, I like to swap out certain ingredients in each meal to create a healthier version of it. Here are some of my favorite healthy food swaps!

SWAP pasta noodles for ZUCHINNI SPIRALS          …………… SWAP tortilla shells for LETTUCE WRAPS

SWAP rice noodles for SHIRATAKI NOODLES         …………… SWAP hamburger buns for PORTABELLO MUSHROOM CAPS

SWAP crackers for APPLE SLICES                                ………….. SWAP juice for FRUIT & VEG INFUSED WATER

SWAP bread crumbs for GROUND ALMONDS          ………….. SWAP mashed potatoes for MASHED CAULIFLOWER

SWAP French fries for BAKED ZUCCHINI FRIES    …………… SWAP spaghetti noodles for SPAGHETTI SQUASH

These changes will do wonders for your weight loss and healthy eating goals, plus a major benefit is that you can eat more! THAT is something I’ve always been willing to get behind, you should try too!