What about wine & sex?

These were the only two things I had questions about when I met with the Oncology Pharmacist, back earlier this month after my chemotherapy treatment schedule had been officially put into motion. In all fairness, she had covered literally every other topic, question, and detail that existed. Except for what I considered to be important stuff, clearly.

My husband and I had about 34 minutes before I had to be at my next appointment at the hospital – I was practically putting in full work days leading up to my first treatment getting all of the diagnostic imaging they needed, my PICC line had to be inserted, I had to meet with multiple professionals for multiple different areas or specialty – it was long.

So we talked a mile a minute – totally my style – which helped make me completely comfortable to ask what I really wanted to know. I remember I looked at my husband, put my hand on his leg, and apologized to him saying  “Sorry, I have to ask… “ then turned my attention back to her and said “what’s going to happen to my sex drive?”.

What. Do you blame me? We’ve all seen the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha, who was also battling Breast Cancer, of all people – didn’t want to have sex with her hot, younger model boyfriend. If that isn’t concerning I don’t know what is… this is real life people.

First she told me it was a great question (gold star pat on the back for me!) and then smiled and told me the good news, that it probably wouldn’t change. As long as I’m feeling well, get it on. Not in those exact words. BUT, wear a condom and dear lord don’t get pregnant. Again I may have exaggerated her wording there, but that’s what I heard sooooo… On it.

My second question was about alcohol. Can I drink wine. How much wine. What about all of the wine. And here is the low down – I can definitely enjoy wine, and other beverages, with this in mind. I need to avoid alcohol a couple days before and after my treatments because alcohol and chemotherapy are both metabolised in the liver, and I need to save that important organ power for the chemo. Makes sense. After those days it slows down, and a couple of glasses won’t hurt.

Naturally, I asked “What about a whole bottle, or more? When can that happen?” She was very professional, barely smiled and told me that when a ‘party situation’ comes up, here are the best days for that – check! Noted, memorized, and good day mam. The more you know. Am I right?

After my next couple of appointments were over, I went home with a handful of prescriptions, all the knowledge in the world, and quickly ordered two boxes of condoms off Amazon. Because no matter how old you get that shit can still be so awkward at the Shoppers Drugmart. Admit it.