For many people, this season isn’t what you expected. For some of you, it’s painfully so.
Maybe there is an empty seat at the table this year. Maybe someone you love is struggling. Maybe there is a diagnosis or a waiting period or a test result that hangs quietly in the background of every gathering. For some of us, joy and uncertainty arrive together.
If this is you, it helps to know that you are not doing the holidays wrong. You are simply living them honestly.
Perspective Changes Everything.
Perspective does not erase hard things. It does not magically turn fear into gratitude or sadness into hope. What it does is change how we carry what is already there.
When you live with medical uncertainty in your family, perspective becomes unavoidable. You stop assuming time is endless. You stop postponing conversations. You stop treating moments as guaranteed. The future feels fragile, but the present becomes louder.
Family Is About Presence.
That shift can be terrifying. It can also be clarifying.
You begin to notice what matters and what does not. The small stuff loses its grip. The important things feel heavier in the best way. Love becomes sharper. Time feels more valuable. Being together matters more than how everything looks.
Fear does not disappear. It just no longer gets to be the only voice in the room.
The holidays tend to magnify whatever is already there. Joy gets louder. Grief feels closer. Family dynamics surface whether we invite them or not.
Family is not defined by a perfect gathering or an unbroken tradition. It is defined by presence. It is about sitting with each other in discomfort. It is about letting conversations be imperfect. It is about showing up even when you do not know what to say.
For those supporting someone they love through uncertainty, presence matters more than positivity. Listening matters more than fixing. Acknowledging what is hard matters more than trying to make it disappear.
You do not need the right words. You need honesty. You need willingness. You need to stay.
Holding Joy and Uncertainty at the Same Time.
One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that joy and fear are not opposites. They coexist. You can laugh deeply and still feel scared. You can feel grateful and overwhelmed in the same breath.
There may be moments this season that do not look joyful, but still feel meaningful. A quiet conversation. A shared look across the table. A moment of understanding that does not need to be spoken.
There may be moments where the uncertainty feels heavier than usual. That does not mean you are failing at optimism or strength. It means you are human.
What Actually Matters.
At the end of the day, the holidays are not about perfection. They are not about pretending everything is fine. They are not about checking boxes or recreating someone else’s version of joy.
They are about showing up. About being present. About choosing connection over performance.
If this season feels complicated, that does not make it less meaningful. In many ways, it makes it more honest.
And sometimes, honesty is the greatest gift we can offer each other.